BELL LET鈥橲 TALK DAY 2019 OFFICIAL VIDEO: Today, every view of this video makes a difference. All you need to do is watch it and Bell will donate 5垄 to mental health initiatives. Share to help spread the word!

鈥� Bell Let's Talk (@Bell_LetsTalk)

Last year, #BellLetsTalk was the most-used Canadian Twitter hashtag, according to Twitter Canada. The campaign even gained the attention of .

But on Bell Let鈥檚 Talk Day 2019, which takes place on Wednesday, it鈥檚 important to also listen, says Dr. Heather Fulton, a registered psychologist at the Burnaby Centre for Mental Health and Addiction.

鈥淟et鈥檚 Talk is really important for reducing stigma and talking about mental illness,鈥� said Fulton. 鈥淧art of that is, let鈥檚 listen to what people have to say.鈥�

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鈥淟istening is really important because it communicates to that other person that their responses, feelings, thoughts and actions make sense and they鈥檙e understandable,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not necessarily agreeing with them or you conveying that you like what they鈥檙e saying, but that you get them, you understand them and it helps that relationship.

鈥淚t can be one of the most powerful things that we do with someone.鈥�

While many people think they鈥檙e good at listening, 鈥減erhaps they鈥檙e not actually as good as they think they are,鈥� Fulton said.

Common pitfalls include the compulsion to dole out advice, 鈥渂ut feeling truly listened to and understood can be much more helpful than any advice or suggestions that we offer,鈥� she said.

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Another pitfall is depending on platitudes like 鈥渋t happened for a reason鈥� and 鈥渋t made them a better person.鈥�

鈥淥ften when we say those phrases, we say them because we feel uncomfortable, we don鈥檛 know how to help and we want them to feel better as fast as possible,鈥� Fulton said. 鈥淏ut they rarely have that intended effect of helping the other person, and often they actually make a person feel worse.鈥�

Instead, Fulton suggested practicing active listening by concentrating on what the other person is saying, and using nonverbal cues such as eye contact and nodding your head.

Further, stating feelings descriptively like 鈥測ou felt ignored鈥� and showing tolerance by trying to understand the person鈥檚 emotions and reactions based on their life circumstances are tested and true listening techniques.

鈥淲ith listening鈥� just listen. Be present,鈥� Fulton said. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to fix things, nor are you really able to. Just ask them how you can help anyways.

鈥淪ometimes it might just be sitting and listening to them, bearing witness to some of their experience. Showing them that you鈥檙e not uncomfortable with them or their emotions can be really validating.鈥�

karissa.gall@blackpress.ca
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